


The Revenge of the Ducks or the One in Which They Marry

by Vulerianka



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23171473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vulerianka/pseuds/Vulerianka
Summary: After a few thousand years they earned it. No demons, angels or Gods dictate their future. Aziraphale and Crowley spend their days together by choice. And what a good time it is. But this way of life full of freedom is unusual. Sometimes scary. The lovely pair will face boredom, hard questions and what it means to be human during a lovely afternoon.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 6





	The Revenge of the Ducks or the One in Which They Marry

The old Bentley drifted through the London streets. Crossing the same streets, London ducks had a near-death experience . In an instant, the Bentley calmed, subsided and drove with a speed to a disabled slug. Two lovers exited the car. The driver sprang out of the vehicle. Sauntering like a human pendulum, the redhead opened the door to the other passenger. 

The usually pale face of an angel was red. The shade of red children see when they take their mothers on rollercoasters. “Crowley, how many times should I tell you. We have time,” he was gasping for breath, “We are not running away from anybody..”

Crowley hissed, “It’s just the way I drive, angel. People who don’t like it can take a scooter.” 

The passenger was finally ready to move out of the car. “You were so close to hitting the ducks, Crowley! Look at the poor animals.” Aziraphale pointed at the terrified beasts. Their fierce and angered faces watched the car. 

Aziraphale wobbled towards the demon. He put a hand on Crowley’s shoulder, “Dear, you can relax. There is no one chasing you… us. We have an eternity to spend together.” Now both of their faces were flushed. Crowley mumbled syllables that were either words in sanskrit or a love confession of a child.

“It’s so calm.” Crowley vocalized across the bench  
Aziraphale observed the park as if it was a work or art, “Indeed. Unusually calm.  
Crowly laughed. “I always knew the chaos was the fault of higher ups.” He turned his long, snake-like neck towards Aziraphale. “What do you think we’ll do now, Angel?”  
Aziraphle thought hard. He was an intelligent being, and many possibilities surfaced in his mind. But they all centered around Crowley. Each one of them.  
“I do not know,” he lied. “Let’s do every possible thing together,” is what he wanted to say.  
Crowley’s eyes fixated on Aziraphale’s for a long moment. “You are the smart one, you should bloody know. I have no ideas whatsoever”  
The ineffable pair sat there, in their silence of lies.  
Watching ducks was a past time. Anything counted as a pastime for Aziraphle, especially involving meditation. Not for Crowley.  
“We survived bloody Armageddon, we can do better than this” he lifted his arm in spirit-like fashion.

Aziraphle woke up from his trans, “Crowley, what in the world are you doiiiiiiii -  
Crowly snapped his fingers. Teleportation was indeed impossible in the world. Miracling themselves into tiny particles with the speed of light was more than possible. 

In a few minutes they were on the edge of a Volcano. The swirling lava groaned and shifted like a sleeping sibling. Aziraphle looked down. His big eyes ballooned in fear. 

“Crowley, Crowley, I am not certain if our bodies can regenerate if we fall,” the angel despaired while moving away from the center. As Crowley walked to the edge, Aziraphle grabbed the demon’s sleeve.  
Crowley laughed, “Humans love coming here. Adrenaline surging through their bodies, feeling alive”

He stood there, length of Aziraphle’s arm keeping him from edge. “It is so damn exciting to live as a human. We can do anything. And there is fear that makes it even more appealing!” Crowley stretched himself out towards the summit. 

“Indeed it is, Cowley. But I do not know if it is necessary to come so close to death. Ever. We already have humans’ faces and bodies. For Christ's sake! We don’t even know what would happen if we destroyed our bodies!”

Crowley shook off Aziraphle’s hand from his sleeve, moving closer to the swirling analogue of hell. His smile reflected in the lava, and the fire reflected in his shades. 

Aziraphle sprang up and grabbed Crowley's hand. Finally, the demon gazed at the angel. Aziraphle put one more hand over their palms. 

Crowley moved away from the summit, closer to his angel. They could feel each other’s breaths. The breathing became steadier than one from adrenaline and fear.  
“Crowley, never leave me behind. I am so very scared,” Aziraphle howled. Crowley pulled up closer, so much closer than any friend would, but - 

“Oh golly, I have a perfect place in mind,” the angel snapped his fingers.  
They were transported to a large territory, center of an ancient complex. The constructions towered over them. Four pineapple-like towers touched the sky.  
Now it was Crowley’s turn to be drowsy and disappointed, “Where are we, Aziraphale?”

“This is Angkor Wat, the city-temple.” the angel replied looking at the ruined territory  
Crowley complained, “Looks like a mountain of soon-to-be rubble. And why would you bring ME to a temple?” 

“Look around, Crowley. Humans constructed the monument before ancient times. Before cars, escalators and all that nonsense. Oh golly, I was here once, as a visitor. As Christian monk, I was invited here a few thousand years ago. You know, I wrote a whole book about this place. They were so curious - Oh! Am I boring you? '' Aziraphle started with puppy eyes  
“Of course no, angel,” said clearly bored Crowley

Innocent Aziraphale smiled, “So what I mean to say is.. This temple is indestructible, you can say ineffable through millenia. All through the work of human tradition and belief.” He awed at the grand statues and then at Crowley, “Remember when I said you were moving too fast”

Crowley gulped  
Aziraphle moved closer, “After six thousand years and one failed Armageddon, I am ready to,” the angel’s face flushed, “to be with you. Forever.” The angel looked up at his demon, waiting for a response.  
Crowley could not help but produce inhuman noises, something between choking on tears and laughter. He fidgeted with his arms. Aziraphle starred in an anxious silence. After a minute of jubilations, Crowley spread his long arms and hugged Aziraphale, lifting him just a little above the ground.  
Aziraphle choked a surprised scream and laughed with Crowley. Two lovers danced in the middle of the most gorgeous ruinous temple. However, nothing was more beautiful for them than each other.

The angel contemplated in the air, “The human traditions prove to hold up for a very long time,” he looked at the temple, “I - I, each time I saw a couple marrying, I thought, it could be us.” He hugged Crowley tighter, “ Bound together, forever. I think we should marry, Crowley.”  
The demon stopped in his tracks, putting the angel abruptly on his feet.  
He fidgeted, “Marriage? What are we, humans? I am a demon, Aziraphle. A demon. I can’t stand up straight in a church.”  
“It should not necessarily be my… Christian church. Or a Satanic church for that matter. There are a million cozy Hindu places across the world. We’d be married, Crowley…”  
The demon squashed angel’s face like a baby’s, “Aziraphale, it’s so god damn unusual. I can’t, just can’t do it like that,” Crowley stood up straight, his shades covered the confused eyes.  
Aziraphle tried to hide his dismay, but he couldn’t stop himself from sighing and looking down.  
“I did not consider your feelings enough, Crowley, I am sorry,” Aziraphle glances back to his demon, but nobody was there. A dark shape was moving towards the forest 

Angel ran more than his puffy body allowed. Breathing heavily, Aziraphle looked miserable without Crowley. It was nearly impossible to find a Crowley in the forest, too much hissing everywhere. 

Leaning on a gigantic tree, the angel thought and rested. Huffing and puffing, Aziraphle wanted to cry. “CCCrowley.”  
The angel tried to stand up. Gigantic tree behind him moved. It slithered and crawled onto Aziraphle’s body.  
“Crowley,” he rejoiced, “Is that you,” a big head of a python looked up at him, curious.  
“You’re not Crowley, I know his eyes… Oh his eyes,” Aziraphle whelped.  
The python continued smothering him. It was getting harder to breath each with every second.  
Aziraphle pulled his hand towards the snake’s face and -.

Crowley ran around the jungle, hellbound. He moved in circles in one area in front of a gigantic palm tree.The demon grumbled to the leafy pal, “Marriage, marriage, does he know who we are? I am actually... not personally against it. But it’s a religious ceremony. And what’s even the point. How are we even going to….” 

The demon took his shades off. ”Why did I leave him there?” he looked up into the jungle-covered sky. Putting a hand on his face, Crowley sighed “What am I doing?”  
Crowley heard a high-pitched scream. One that shook his every bone.  
“Angel is in danger”

Slithering through the forest, Crowley regained his forgotten instincts. The snake sight helped looking for a living person. Especially when they emitted so much warmth. Crowley slithered like never before, scaring the natural predators away. Aziraphle needed his help, that’s what mattered

A few minutes passed after the cry. It was unnaturally quiet. Finally, Crowley found a big shape embraced by a snake in a few hundred meters. Crawling up, he was ready to attack the slithering brother. 

The calm voice of an angel stopped him in his tracks. Investigating further, Crowley witnessed Aziraphle gently petting a large python on its head.  
“What a wonderful creature you are. Yes, you,” the angel ran his hands down the happy snake’s neck. The sight angered Crowley.

“I have a person that is very close to me. Don’t be jealous, you are the prettiest snake I’ve ever seen.” The python emitted sounds of adoration.  
Crowley crawled out and hissed the rival snake into submission. The python could not decide if it should stay with tha angel or run from the demon. 

Too late, Crowley bit it on the neck. The poor snake cried out in disbelief and struggled.  
Aziraphle cried out motherly, “Crowley! What are you doing? Stop this nonsense,” The demon regained composure and let his snake rival go. The python scattered and fled, fleeing with unhealable injuries.  
“What did you do to the poor animal, Crowley? He was just minding his business,” the angel said a little disappointedly.

The snake demon hissed out, “He wanted to bloody strangle you!”  
Aziraphled coughed, “Maybe at first, but we found our similarities at the end of the day. I am rather proficient at communication with snakes and pythons alike,” the angel smiled with a hint.  
Crowley turned back into a human. “Well I am sorry for disturbing you and your…. Friend,” he looked away, embarrassed. 

Aziraphle’s stomach grumbled, “After all this adventure… I think we are both very hungry, Crowley.”  
The demon regained composure and sauntered towards Aziraphale. The angel stood like a tower of Piza, leaning on a tree for support.  
“Do you want to get a waffle?” Crowley gave a genuine smile.  
“Maybe a crepe,” the angel smiled back.  
Aziraphle gasped in surprise. A pleasant surprise. Crowley lowered himself and picked the angel up. Hand under Aziraphle’s thigh, another on his chest, the demon carried him like a bride.  
“Crowley!” Aziraphle squirmed, “ I am heavy, don’t strain yourself!”  
“Nonsense,” replied Crowley. His legs were only shaking a little bit.

Walking down the Berkley park, they attracted a lot of attention. It is unusual to see a bride-carrying in the afternoon.  
“What a beautiful couple,” a lady exacerbated as her fiance sat across with a little box and a ring.  
Crowley hugged the angel tighter,“People are saying how good we look together, Aziraphale. Relax.”  
Aziraphle mumbled, his face buried into Crowley’s jacket, “I am perfectly composed.” On occasion, the angel lied too.  
As they were reaching the edge of the park, Crowley gasped and nearly dropped Aziraphale. 

“Those Goddamn ducks!” he screamed across the whole park.  
The birds covered the best car of the century with their strategic discharge.  
“Now it’s covered with crap and I can’t miracle it clean! I’ll murder every single one of those-” the demon gritted his teeth.  
“I can miracle it clean. Or we can clean it up like humans do,” Aziraphle stood firmly, “Just please calm down. And don’t touch the birds.”  
“You know what,” Crowly regained composure and looked delighted, “We don’t need to clean it up. And the ducks are lovely. And the day.”  
Aziraphle started processing the sincere remark. 

“Aziraphle,” the demon took angel's hands, “Shit on cars is said to bring a lot of luck. I heard it’s even a good sign for newly married couples.”

Aziraphle could not contain his smile. He remembered a small box in his pocket. Standing on one knee, the angel proposed. “Will you marry me, Crowley?” A pair of blue and yellow eyes met with adoration.

“Yes I will,” his Crowley replied.

They kissed under the Berkley trees.

**Author's Note:**

> Good Omens, what a unique, smart and hilarious piece of literature. I didn't that British humor was what I wanted my whole life. And, of course, Neil Gaiman is the best thing the world has ever made. My first fic is dedicated to him:) Aziraphale and Crowley are husbands and anybody disagreeing can fight me and this lovely fandom. Hope you enjoyed one of the possible futures of these two. Kisses XXX


End file.
